T.W.A.K. 2009 DOUCHEBAG OF THE YEAR

Plenty to pick from this year for the coveted douche bag of the year award....liars, crooks, thieves, morons. Partisan politicians wishing bad will on the country, calling the President a liar, and traveling thousands of miles in order to cheat on his wife. Talk show hosts sleeping with his employees and cheaters abound.

But one has elevated himself to a very lofty status. Working in tandem with his P.R. firm to create a public persona of a straight laced, principled man...a family man, devoted to his mom, and desperately missing his father. Strong, driven, devoted newlywed and new father, dedicated in his off time to various charities, including the one he himself founded (photo op...photo op...photo op).

It isn't just that he cheated on his wife, it isn't just his reality so opposite the perception he worked so hard to maintain. It was the manner with which he sought, the manner in which he stalked, the manner in which he used whatever porn star, waitress and bar hag he could find to suit his fancy. He was and is a sexual predator of the lowest order.

Sources closest to him have intimated he thought these trashy women were just part of the perks of his profession, existing only to gratify him sexually as long as he chose to consume them, an appalling capacity for arrogance.

When he was finally caught, when his sexual house of cards finally crumbled down, he did what a little boy does...cower in fear and said nothing. Remains hidden away in his shell to this day, instead of meeting his problems head-on, such as David Letterman had, or as expected from the son of no less than a Green Beret. Of course we now know he is a mere fraction of the man his father was.

Add to this the knowledge that this was not an isolated slip-up or two dalliances, but apparently a pattern of behavior that extended throughout his marriage, and during his engagement as well.....and you have another record for him to put in his trophy case, for slime. And left in the wake of his backwash is a loving family; an ex-model who gave him two lovely children, a charitable foundation completely lacking in credibility, corporations who spent untold millions of dollars hiring him as their spokesmen now back peddling through a public relations fiasco, and an elderly mother held hostage of a rabid press seeking every morsel of his sordid affairs.

For all of this, and probably more which is as yet undiscovered, I nominate for the 2009 Douche bag of the year......Eldrick "Tiger" Woods.