CONGRESSIONAL TIPS FROM KIMBA

It isn't a matter of right vs. left. It isn't a matter of who was sitting in the Oval Office at the time. Polling consistently has shown that the American people, the ones who actually research and care....has thought that Congress has sucked for over two decades. Right, left, moderates, independents...they all suck. Spending fools, lying bastards,not to be trusted, do nothing idiots.
So in order to form "that more perfect union," I humbly offer the following words of wisdom to our newest Congressional bodies....
1. Quit running each other down. On the floor, in the press, on your web sites, stop agreeing with the American people and saying what a joke Congress is. What morons are comprising it. Stop creating the perception that the body you work for sucks. The American people are listening...and agreeing with you, and they are taking down incumbents like Paul Bunyan with his mighty axe. If you think say, if you say so, it must be true. And so they vote for people with little to no experience just to fire you. Good move.
2. Stop lying. Stop exaggerating, stop"spinning" the truth, get real. For example...the health care bill was crafted in Congress, not the oval. If you are still calling it "Obama care"... you are a liar. Come out and be truthful. You might get the respect of the voting masses. Stop it, repeal it, I am with you on that, but stop blaming someone who did not write it. BTW...lets tell the American people we still desperately need health care reform....we are not saying not ever...just not now.
3. Work harder. Tuesday through Thursday is not enough. You are lucky to have jobs....FULL TIME jobs. Now days if you want to meet your Congressmen or Senator, all you need to do is hang out at a DC airport on any Thursday afternoon. Keep this up, and we will pay you by the hour.
4. Can anything be left to a straight up or down vote? Hopefully without 20 pieces of pork added on that we do not want, as a compromise to get votes for the measure we do want? Whatever the benefit of the bill is, it is negated by the crap pasted to the back of the measure, having absolutely nothing to do with the bill. And it is usually expensive without merit.
5. Read the damn bills before voting. Do not leave this task to the aides, or heaven forbid, the lobbyists. If each every member of Congress had to read the bill and pass a comprehension test before voting, maybe you would limit the size of the bills to less than 20 pounds each.