Saturday, September 13, 2008

5 THINGS OBAMA MUST DO IF HE IS TO BE ELECTED

1. Admit you are blowing it.
You have squandered a fairly large lead over a Republican candidate that struggled just to beat the likes of Mike Huckabee and Rudy Guiliani. They have taken over your core message of change, and are forcing you to respond to one of the dirtiest campaigns in modern day history. What is worse, you stopped playing to win, and have overcautiously started playing not to lose.

2. Forget trying to force the electorate into the realization that John McCain is a liar.
They already know that. They think you are all inherently dishonest. We know their campaign is spreading the shit like a tractor in Iowa. Get over it. Didn't you learn anything from the primaries?

3. Admit that Joe Biden was a stupid fucking mistake.
He has added nothing to your ticket, and you got absolutely no bump in the polls as a result of it. Sending him out on the road in an attempt to whip up your supporters isn't working, and if you continue to keep him out there, it will only be a matter of time before he says something really, really dumb. Reel him in. This is the price you will have to pay for your foolish pride. You knew Hillary was your only choice, but you let your testicles override your brain. Smooth move, Senator.

4. Realize your campaign people are really stinking up the joint.
I don't know who you've been listening to, but one minute you are Mr. Clean, and the next minute you are jumping into the mud and slinging it with the worst of them. By getting down into the dirt with McCain, you have shown the country that the person you portrayed throughout the primary was....just that, a portrayal, and not who you really are. The American people have no idea who you are any more. You have to stop changing your message, and your positions. Stick with them, even if they are wrong. Nobody expects you to stick to them in January, anyway.

5. You need to ask for help from someone who knows how to get elected, and that means either Jimmy friggin' Carter, or it means getting down on your hands and knees and asking for help from the married couple pictured below.

They know how to win. Sure, you kicked their ass with all of that messianic bullshit, but that ship has sailed. The Clintons know more about American politics than any two people alive. It won't be pretty, but they can get you into the White House. The question is, can Bill forget that the only respect you have shown him is three phone calls, and a recent lunch since the primaries?

The second question is, do they even want you to get elected? If its McCain in four years, Hillary will be running against four years of ineptitude, and you. And besides, the houses will be Democratically controlled, so there will be an absolute deadlock / stalemate against getting anything done.

Five things to do, with an emphasis on number five. Suck it up and do it, or your failure will singlehandedly insure that there will be no minority candidates for the next 3+ election cycles. You will have proven the Bradley effect is alive and in full force when it comes to Presidential elections (whether that will play out as the ultimate reason for your failure, or not). How's that for a legacy?

And that is The World.........The World According to Kimba. Thanks for reading.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Not having Hillary was a huge mistake. He needs to do something different... usually the VP choice plays attack dog. He should make sure Biden plays "presidential" regarding acuity to foreign matters and Obama can do something different by going for John's weaknesses. Really dig down deep... everything from Keating Five ... his age .. his laughing at Hillary being "called a bitch" his morph as a future McBush. During the debates play just one way. Smart and Cool. Basically he needs to continue to look and act presidential when America watches them together. But on stump speeches he is now dangerously BORING. Admitting flaws and asking again for Americans to rise up while campaigning with the best and also flawed campaigner, Bill Clinton would be wise.
..... Very sad. Our country is really thinking of putting another Bush in office... unbelievable. Apathy dear friend is winning and unless young people "Get It" we may as well give Saudi Arabia and China the keys.
...radar

Kim said...

I think maybe he has spoken too much, and become predictable. It is time for one of those town hall speeches based on one subject, like the one he gave on race.

Maybe, the thing to do is go for the dream team speaking event, Clinton, Clinton, Biden, and Obama. THAT would draw thousands to an event.